Growing up a Little.

 

It is when you are away from the people you have love, you understand the little flaws in them. You learn to love them with all their little flaws, cherish every little moment you’ve spent with them smiling together. You realise, not everything in life is meant to stay the way it had been; not everything that you cherish now would be with you tomorrow. You let go a little, you hold on to the fondest of moments. You live with it. 

You grow up a little.

 

You start valuing every little thing that gets you attached, love every moment you spend together with someone, support every idea that you believe would bring a smile.

For all the new attachments, you try and make sure nothing goes wrong; the little apparent imperfections are loved and accepted. How would a person be without a flaw anyway? What’s growing up without a little understanding, anyway?

 

 

Our little imperfections bind us together. How would our lives be if I call my mother regularly? Or if Bhai calls me every day without a fail? Would it not be unnatural if the little shoe-string does not hang out of the shoe-rack? How would life be, if Madhu does not try his numerous ways to wake me up so that I have my dinner? Or perhaps if bhai does not call me and ask, “Kiii hoyeche tomar? (what happened to you?)”, each time I am jittery? We share our lives with them; the highs, the lows, the good and the bad, the right things we do and the wrong we commit. We open ourselves to the diligent scrutiny and subsequent acceptance. All with a smile.

These are the moments, life intrigues; life questions: how secure are we in the fold of our loved ones? We smile, we trust and we let go. There are moments when the world comes to a halt; you take a moment out of your life and look not around, but inside. And such moments while growing up are just abundant.

 

 

When you share your life with a person, almost every moment of it, you can not not notice his expressions when you hurt him, obviously without intent. You realise, somewhere in the past you’ve been unintentionally rude to the people you love the most. Growing up is all about understanding that you’ve mistaken. All that you can do that moment, is to apologise and promise to not repeat it one more time. You do it, pray and smile. 

 

 

There are times, you’re left alone. Living alone for the last few weeks have taught me certain important lessons in life. The first being of course, to accept life and people the exact way they are. People who love me, are honest. Everyone does everything right, at their right pace taking their own time. Patience is important. 

I’ve always had this insecurity about people deceiving me. I’ve practised to not think about it anymore. Be nice and kind, think positive and leave the rest to the Almighty. Over a period of time, a few supported me; whether or not I was relevant in their lives.

The second is to be content and to try to understand why we do whatever we do. To question, seek an answer of and understand the purpose of everything. That’s because I have a lot of time when I am alone.

 

The long walks in the morning, the sultry rays of the sun; the overwhelmingly magnanimous sun rise, the flock of the birds and the show that they put up every morning. Various thoughts visit me when I sit idly on the banks of the river Elbe. And then they fade into nothingness. Just like people. What remains is what matters. 

 

The little things that life teaches you when you are away from the people you love, the littleness of being, the purpose of being, the acceptance of everything the way it is, to know where to start and to know where to stop.